[ Read Online The Lunatic Cafe â bookkeeping PDF ] by Laurell K. Hamilton ☆ If I had to do this review in two words, it wouldn t be a challenge Twilight Noir Okay, it s historically inaccurate, since Stephenie Meyer stole the idea from Laurel K Hamilton rather than vice versa, but apart from that it s close to the facts We have the basic Twilight scenario human woman is simultaneously in love with a vampire and a werewolf, but for bizarre reasons can t actually have sex with either of them Instead of the infuriatingly wimpy Bella, though, we have tough as nails Anita, who s your generic noir private eye And instead of the bizarre Twilight plot we re served the usual noir routine, with Anita getting threatened, beaten up and shot at, as she wise cracks her way from one perilous situation to another, kills the occasional supernatural creature or human, and, needless to say, solves the case The rest of this review is available elsewhere the location cannot be given for Goodreads policy reasons This book begins where the previous left off so your best bet is to read these in order so you can figure out how these tangled relationships develop into the mess that becomes Anita s love life Anita, Animator of the Dead, is seriously dating Richard the werewolf and is beginning to realize the perils of dating a monster Jean Claude her other would be beau is sticking his nose in their business because he s a jealous little vampire man and hasn t been able to woo Anita with his vampire charms and sea blue orbs of promised delight I m not a real big fan of the Jean Claude here He does his best to ruin things for Richard and comes across as a bit of a mean spirited brat I was rooting for Richard in this book His feelings seemed real and I wanted him to have Anita, his teaching job and a peaceful normal life If you hope for that too you may not want to read too much further along in this series Anita is still raising zombies and helping out the spook squad but I noticed she begins to spend time with the monsters and their politics here than in any of the previous books She encounters evil vamp Gretchen as well as enters into the midst of the lycanthrope pack where she meets sadistic Marcus and Raina and sees first hand what the lycanthropes are capable of underneath all of the beauty We also get glimpses of hard ass I don t bluff Anita who refuses to back down from any big boy It gets a little annoying in later books but here it still works, she s still got shit to prove Edward, AKA Death, plays a big role in this one and he s always an enigmatic character who keeps my interest high On the downside, we are once again inundated with endless boring descriptions of the hidden guns and the Nike swish color mine is silver by the way in case you re dying to know Are you one of those freaks who will spend a sleepless night if you don t have the most insignificant of details about Dolph s wardrobe Not to worry, here you goHis hands were plunged into pockets of a long black trench coat The coat looked too thin for the weather but maybe it was lined, though he was a little bit too bulky to leave room for him and a lining in the same coat I don t know about you but I wasn t holding my breath wondering if Dolph wore a lined coat or not Sheesh Tell me something interesting and relevant to the story, like the fit of his undies or the secret spot he applies his cologne and I may finally stop complaining about these details.
Seriously though, I like this book a whole bunch and think it is a solid entry in the series Its old school Anita and her conflicted feelings about her two sexy men way back before she was uber powerful and attractive to every male in sight Here she is still human with benefits just starting to make an appearance She is vulnerable and I can relate to her need to be a tough girl There are several subplots but not enough to hurt my brain , lots of paranormal action and a whole lot of gore along with that slow burning sexual tension between the characters that I remember so well I m having a lot of fun revisiting this series and the imaginative world Laurell K Hamilton built a decade or so ago.
A Date off SeriouslyOh, what has become of you John Taylorer, uh, Jean Claude Hamilton tries to introduce a love triangle Tries It ends up being a dating competition, and reminds me of a poorly written sitcom Not what I would expect from a couple of super powerful, super sexy men Anita was an even bigger disappointment, relationship wise We learn that she is such a badass who doesn t date because of a bad relationship ONE bad relationship Big deal Who hasn t had their heart broken I also found it bizarre that Anita, Jean Claude Richard seem to think that you can love someone romantically without actually liking them Um isn t that just lust, then At one point, Anita says of Richard that she doesn t just love him, she actually likes him, too Hmmm Hamilton seems to have a pretty fucked up take on relationships So far, this was my least favorite book of the series I know this is a common complaint, but I could care less what color the Nike swoops are It s curious that Hamilton pays such attention to detail over characters with horrible fashion sense The majority of the outfits are all black anyway And Jean Claudehe just reeks of a white trash, wanna be goth who doesn t dress as if he is very interested in attracting women Black jeans with knee high velvet boots White billowy shirt that is completely unbuttoned except for the ruby pendant at the collar Is that attractive No No it is not It s just bad taste I keep imagining some acne afflicted kid at a renaissance fair Yuck.
Get back to the Zombie raising, Anita

Plot 1 Client walks into Anita s office and asks her to do something She refuses.
2 RELATIONSHIP DRAMA 3 Dolph calls her to the scene of the crime.
4 Someone attacks Anita for no good reason.
5 The most disgusting crime scene EVAH 6 MORE RELATIONSHIP DRAMA 7 Oh, crap, there s a plot we re supposed to tie up Okay, well, X does it.
8 Jean Claude Richard tries to get in Anita s pants Anita makes stupid agreement.
These books are getting formulaic I guess if the formula were a bit interesting, I wouldn t mind so much And in fact, towards the beginning of this book, I really liked it a lot I actually was tempted to give it 4 stars and declare it my favorite so far.
And then the RELATIONSHIP DRAMA began.
Now, I understand why Anita is kinda iffy about Richard He s a werewolf after all, and I too would be a bit hesitant before committing to a guy like that But 1 she s considering committing after maybe two months of dating she started dating him that October and this book is set in December and 2 she was wounded after a fiance dumped her For point 1, I must ask, Really I though Anita had a head on her shoulders, underneath that poufy, unmanageable hair Why would she, even hastily, agree to marry Richard Other than she refuses to have premarital sex because of her last relationship, and this woman SERIOUSLY needs to get laid.
NOTE 1 I know that in a few books I am going to eat those words.
NOTE 2 I have NO PROBLEMS with a person wanting to wait before having sex That isn t the problem The problem isSo Anita has sex with her fiance, and he dumps her Yeah, that s rough, but we ve all gone through relationship troubles What makes her failed engagement TEH WORST EVAH Of course, maybe this is supposed to show her immaturity she is only 24 after all Okay, let s say I buy all this relationship drama with Richard and, for the most part, I do What I do NOT understand is why Anita is so stupid to allow Jean Claude, the dude she s been trying to foist off her for the last three books, suddenly force her into dating him Anita, the guy is a creepy stalker dude LET HIM BE Don t date a guy like that And that is what makes up a good 50% of the novel About 10% is Anita getting into a p ssing match with someone because what book would be complete without Anita having to prove how awesome and adept she is , and the rest is just action scene after action scene.
The actual mystery is interesting Disappearing shapeshifters Looking into the werewolf subculture Yeah, I ll buy that But after awhile, I felt LKH was just tossing stuff at us to keep up the breakneck pace the entire events of this book occur in less than a week Werewolf snuff films, Anita killing a werewolf, Anita s relationship dramaall of this occurs so quickly, we barely have time to breath and think in between scenes Even Anita is run ragged that woman had better have the best damn health insurance, because by God, she goes to the hospital probably THREE TIMES in this book alone And for God s sake, let the woman get a whole f ing night of sleep, okay And Anita Ugh, how the hell does this unpleasant, unlikable, rude, arrogant woman get even ONE guy after her, much less TWO It s absolutely ridiculous If I were a man, I d be running the other direction from her I m guessing that Jean Claude and Richard are both extremely desperate to get laid But even that isn t true Jean Claude has some German vampire chick after his marbled pecks, barely concealed by his god awful frilly shirts.
And you know what I don t have to know what every gorram character is wearing in these books I don t need to know if Anita is wearing a red sweater with an emerald green skirt and jacket and the jacket can t quite cover the Browning I don t need an analysis of what knee high black velvet boots Jean Claude is using to complete his f ing awful outfit I don t care if Casper is wearing a tweed jacket or jeans or just his birthday suit I don t need to know that Anita has changed out of those HORRIBLE heels because REAL WOMEN can t wear those things into her black Nikes to conceal all the blood and guts she gets in contact with I DON T CARE.
What I DO care about is an interesting story If you are going to go the route of Romantic Drama, don t bother with a mystery plot But if you have a mystery plot, don t spend of the book talking about how much of Jean Claude s nipple we can see and whether or not Anita is going to marry Richard.
On a brighter note because this review suddenly became WAY negative than I intended , I still like Ronnie and am even liking Dolph And I do like seeing all these other mythological creatures appear And when they actually attempt to solve the mystery, it is pretty good Oh, and I do think the action sequences are written pretty damn well.
If I were a smart person, I d probably stop here, but I do really want to see how the series progresses and if it gets better before it gets worse If you ve read up to this book and have liked the ones before, I have no doubt you will probably like this one as well But if the earlier books haven t sold you, it s doubtful this one is going to change your mind.
This is turning into a very interesting love triangle between Richard and Jean Claude.
Finally We get some progression in Anita s personal love life She finally let her guard down a little and admitted that she loved Richard and Jean Claude Oh, and she even allowed a little heavy kissing, Lol No heavy petting yet, but a girl can dream.
Anita Blake s ThemeAnita s still a complete hard ass and what can I say I like it This was action packed and full of murder and gore.
WARNING This book is twisted and brilliant Review contains certain details that are upsetting and some sexual reference is used Thus the review will touch on a few details that are disgusting and unacceptable to sensitive and closed minds If you are either of the above, please do not continue to read this review I love this book The Anita Blake series is AWESOME Unfortunately, there are a few books in this series that just flat out stink The Lunatic Cafe is most definitely NOT one of those books.
Filled with skinned and gutted victims, bestial pornographic snuff films, and forced romantic tangles, The Lunatic Cafe is by far one of the most interesting books in the Anita Blake series the first half of the series anyways.
I ve always been a little twisted Curiously intrigued by things that make others gag What can I say I m a little weird With that said, keep in mind when you read this book that although left intrigued and wondering that is not an implication of preference or justification of lifestyles by others To each his own I just needed to explain this little bit to avoid confusion and concern by loved ones I was so excited to read this book, that I completely forgot to highlight some fun parts for previewing pleasure I did however, highlight a paragraph from one of the crime scenes I think it s totally rockin awesome You may wrinkle your nose and find yourself disgusted Woo hoo for individualism Ragged furrows ran down the right side of his face One claw had sliced over the eye, spilling blood and thick globs of eyeball down his cheek The lower jaw was crushed, as if some great hand had grabbed it and squeezed It made the face look unfinished, only half there It must have hurt like hell, but it hadn t killed him More s the pity.
The handsome Richard viewed as a monster The sexy Jean Claude grasping leverage to hostage intimate moments from Anita A sexual sadist, Raina, an alpha werewolf to the local pack and Richard s former lover, climbs under Blake s skin and wiggles around, leaving Blake disgusted with the idea that Richard could ever be involved with such a monster.
Nasty, manipulative witches Nagas seeking rescue Shapeshifters missing This book has a wide range of plots that continually catch you off guard Just when you think you ve figured it all out, you re blindsided by something entirely unexpected and delicious.
I recommend this book to curious minds, those pushing lines of moral reality, and those with their feet firmly planted on the ground There is to a normal life, and this book covers several aspects of life that are shunned and ignored by a society of manners and a certain set of acceptable sexual standards.
ADULTS ONLY I highly recommend you store this book away from curious little hands Although open minded, I strenuously object to younger minds reading this book And even so here on out ANY book from this series.
Filled with beautifully crafted and blood dripping crime scenes, obscenely provocative and perverted sexual content The Lunatic Cafe will leave you wondering just how far other people will go to satisfy their needs and desiresThere are roads to monsterdom than most people realize Woo hoo HAPPY READING One of my first book I read that starting me reading Vampire books I remember being blown away by the female character in this book, I had never read anything like her before Also the idea of having a female character that is truly in love with two completely different men, and she is allowed to have both of them Yeah we need books like this This is really a great series, at least the first 11 books are great Way better than anything written by Stephanie Meyer HA In Laurell K Hamilton S New York Times Bestselling Novels, Vampire Hunter And Zombie Animator Anita Blake Is An Expert At Sniffing Out The Bad From The Good But She S About To Learn That Nothing Is Ever As It Seems Especially In Matters Of The Not So Human Heart Dating A Werewolf With Self Esteem Issues Is Stressing Anita Out Especially When Something Or Someone Starts Taking Out The City S Shapeshifters With each book in this series, Anita Blake is really growing on me as a character I m finding that I m enjoying each instalment and as I m progressing through the series.
Set after the events of the previous novel, Anita is asked to investigate a series of shapeshifter disappearances.
The main focus of the novel delves into Anita s personal life with werewolf boyfriend Richard and the continued advances of vampire Jean ClaudeA Werewolf Vampire love triangle instantly draws parallels to Twilight.
But with this book initially published during the mid 90 s and Anita s kickass attitude, the storyline still feels fresh and interesting 20 years later.
The mystery itself was interesting and helped keep up the pace.
Hamilton perfectly blends the romance and action perfectly.
She gave that rich, bedroom laugh again I am alpha, Ms Blake I can do a great many things that most shifters cannotRaina Shape shifters are going missing in St Louis and the monsters won t talk to the police, but they will talk to Anita Blake They would have earlier if not for Richard Bad Richard This is the first book where things start to go south Richard is too much her opposite The sort of relationship with drag out fights before the first date It just gets uglier.
Still a damn good story.
And I love the ones Edward is in.
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